Origin story...
Over the years I have redefined myself a half a dozen times. I started in fashion, spent over a decade in law, taught myself web design then became an author with three critically acclaimed mystery novels under my belt. Oh yeah, and I became a certified Life Coach somewhere in there too. I was fresh off the plane from New York after my third novel’s release when the Universe shifted out from under me.
In the span of four years our family lost three uncles, one aunt, a beloved friend, biological father and my step-father. My step-father had been in a car accident which meant he and my mother had to downsize their home to a single story. Unfortunately, he passed before the first box was packed.
They say the top five most stressful life events are the death of a loved one, a divorce, moving, a major illness or injury and a job loss. Well, no one got divorced and technically I didn’t lose my job but 4 out of 5 at the same time is hard to wrap your head around.
For the record, I didn’t get fired, I fired myself. I shoved my work and life in a box to focus on my mother and help get her through the storm. She is, after all, my best friend. There was no time to mourn, panic, scream, no time period. You switch on autopilot and go.
After we got through the move to a fresh new house atop a pile of dirt, it was time to put in irrigation. I did that myself, the landscaping myself, hanging curtains and blinds myself, so on and so fourth, you get the picture? The old house finally sold so we had to shove 20 pounds of crap into a 1 quart zip-lock bag, so to speak. Keep calm, carry on and all that.
The loss of my step father took a toll on my mother. Beyond the grief and depression, she became ill at the end of 2019. Then a global pandemic hit. I’m still waiting for the locust or the alien ship to land off the Santa Monica Pier. Never EVER say “what else?”. Just don’t.
Becoming my mother’s primary caregiver was the laser focus on every level. Nutrition was the name of the game which is no easy task when you’re going through chemotherapy. I had always loved to cook but circumstances being what they were, time was at a premium. My mother requires constant supervision and care. I had no time to go grocery shopping so I signed up for one of those meal delivery things. Actually, I tried every one that was out at that time. I settled on Martha & Marley Spoon for a long run but switched to Blue Apron after M & M’s choice in delivery companies made me want to find a hatchet. Then I added Hello Fresh so I had every night covered.
With my mother’s immunotherapy, Covid and all the new cooties lurking, I’m pretty much in voluntary lock down. Exposing her to possible infections is just not an option to me, full stop. Making sure she gets the proper nutrition is critical. In the beginning she acquiesced to a feeding tube for the first six months, thank God, but she had zero desire for food. On a good day she was the pickiest eater on the planet. Factor that in with the mental and emotional stress, an appetite was nowhere to be found. Getting her weight up and her body healthy became the focus and still is to this minute.
Like the rest of the planet during the Pandemic, the world changed, forever. That old career and life of mine is packed in a box somewhere, lost for good. Nothing will ever be the same. So we do what we can with what we have. We cope.
Sadly, not so long ago someone very dear to me went off and yelled at me…
“Get a life!”
“What a great idea!” I replied, oozing contemptible sarcasm.
Thank you so much for the tip! How do you suggest I do that? In my barely existent spare time, what the hell do I do? How do I work within these parameters? Because I sure as shit am not leaving my mother’s side as long as God blesses me with more time. Oh hell no! So what do you do with that?
Being a full-time caregiver, my time in the kitchen is my only “me” time. I haven’t had nail polish on in over three years. I have a uni-brow that makes me look like I have a push-broom on my forehead and getting a real shower in is a luxury. Darling, I am a hot mess of epic proportions.
Cooking has become a meditation and the kitchen a place of solace. I used to be a writer but now my creative outlet is on a plate. I actually started treating my meal kit boxes like the baskets on Chopped as my own weird sort of fun.
Oh, stop! If you’ve ever watched the show you have either done it or you want to!
On those rare occasions we were able to sit for a minute, my sister reintroduced me to wine. Those rare and precious moments we got to sit on the patio, enjoy a sunset and a glass of wine. Those days were, and still are sacred to me. Back then you probably could have served me a glass of bleach and I would have relished it. Fortunately, my sister knows her stuff and loves me. I think. But wine and cooking became a happy places and I need me some happy!
One night, around 3am flipping between infomercials and Law & Order reruns (sleep is a rare commodity) I stumbled across The Wine Show with Matthew Rhys and Matthew Goode. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a gorgeous Welshman any day of the week and who doesn’t love scenic views of the Italian countryside? It wasn’t that though, I swear! A spark was lit in me. A ridiculous spark, but a spark nonetheless and man did I need it! I just needed the courage, focus and multitasking magic to fan the flame.
Welcome to my Crazy Lady Midlife Crisis Adventure!
This new chapter has put me through culinary school and gotten me Wine and Spirits Educational Trust Level 2 Award in Wine. The goal is to combine everything I have learned over the years, share what I have learned (and continue to learn) with all of you. Recipes, pairings, tips, tricks, shortcuts, hacks as well as anything else I stumble across on the way. I have no clue what will come of it or what the hell I am doing but I plan on dragging all of you with me! I also plan on having a deliciously hilarious time along the way. So let’s eat, drink and be merry!
– Sláinte
